“That’s not fair,” my daughter yelled at me before she stomped off to her room. The walls vibrated from the force of the door slamming. I responded with my usual saying of life is not fair. If you have teenagers in your household, you are familiar with this kind of scene. Even though my kids grew up and moved on, I still remember days like this one. Why do we think we deserve particular things in life? Maybe the event occurred in such a way so that God could teach us something.
That’s Not Fair
Unrecognized
That’s not fair when someone gets recognized for completing a task or project, but no one acknowledges us when we complete our mission. We feel slighted or snubbed. Our selfishness makes us envious instead of allowing us to celebrate the other person. Isaiah 60:22b; “I, the Lord, will bring it about quickly in its time.” Events in life happen in God’s time, not ours. Did the coworker get a reward so that we could learn to trust in God’s time?
Inconvenienced
That’s not fair became a battle cry as COVID spread across the globe, and we could no longer live like we used to do. We felt entitled to our former freedoms like eating out and visiting friends. Again, we want to focus on how the problem impacts us. We don’t want to be inconvenienced. Philippians 2:6; “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage.” Jesus was inconvenienced when He gave up His heavenly life. Is God using this time so that we can appreciate what we have in life?
Overwhelmed
That’s not fair, Martha implied as she asked Jesus to make her sister Mary help her. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet as Martha prepared the meal. Martha felt overwhelmed and underappreciated. She thought it was unfair for her to do all the work. Luke 10:42; “but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Is Jesus showing us that time at His feet so that we can learn from Him is better than busyness?
So That
Life is not fair. God did not promise us a life without trials and heartache. In fact, just the opposite is true so that we can learn God’s ways. We see this truth in John 16:33; “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Bible Verses to Help
Here are some additional Bible verses for when the struggles of the unfairness of life overtake you.
When you feel forgotten, read Hebrews 6:10; “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”
When we feel unappreciated, read Colossians 3:23; “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
When we feel overwhelmed, read Matthew 11:28; “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
When we feel inconvenienced, read Philippians 2:3; “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
When we feel tested in our faith, read James 1:12; “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
When we feel like giving up, read Revelation 21:4; “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Wrap-Up
Broken promises, disappointments, and unfulfilled dreams will be a part of our lives on this side of Heaven. We all face these kinds of events that leave us thinking that’s not fair. God is with us every step of this journey even when we feel like that’s not fair. Look to Him for comfort and encouragement so that you can remain faithful. Remember Matthew 28:20; “and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Prayer
Dearest Lord Jesus. I often want my life to go a certain way, and I feel slighted when it doesn’t. Please forgive me when I question how You treat me or think that’s not fair. Give me the patience to wait on You and the understanding so that I trust in Your ways. Thank You for everything Your hand provides to me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Blessings,
Yvonne M. Morgan is a Christian author, blogger, and speaker.
Matthew 28:19 “Therefore, GO and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”
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What a powerful message! We often miss the moments filled with blessings when we only focus on the negative. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Thanks so much Melissa. We do like to focus on the perceived negative effects on us instead of how God intended. God bless
The Bible also says rain falls on both the just and the unjust. I have often told myself that when feeling life is unfair.
Thanks Vivian. You are correct. That is a good way to think about it. Thanks and God bless.
Such truth here. Sometimes things really are NOT fair. Why do some kids have food and water while others are forgotten and starving in some other nation? Why do bad things happen to God-loving people and good things happen to those who seem to mock the Lord? Who knows. But you are right: God has a way of making good things come from even bad circumstances. Some of those good things are lessons that help us develop wisdom.
Thanks Jessica. Things in our world can be unfair but we still trust in God’s way. His ways are higher than ours and hard for us to understand. Thanks for commenting and God bless.
Actually, God is NOT fair and I’m glad He’s not. If He were, Jesus would not have died for our sins. There’s nothing “fair” about someone else paying my price. But God IS just. And Christ’s death on the cross satisfied God’s justice regarding my sins. So grateful!
Great point Ava. We never think it is unfair that Jesus died for us. I am so grateful as well. Thanks for commenting and God bless.
Good to remember. Sometimes we need an expectations adjustment and a willingness to wait.
Thanks Janice and yes we do. Thanks for commenting and God bless.
This is a powerful truth that would help so much if we learned this reality starting early in life, and yet our immature self absorption often delays our learning these powerful lessons.
Thanks Melinda. It is an important lesson that we need to learn and understand. So often, it seems to be about jealousy- we feel mistreated when someone else get something and we don’t. Thanks for commenting and God bless.
Instead of seeing things as fair or unfair (and I do my share of that), we can think of what’s happening as something to stretch us–to teach us, to let us help others.
Good idea Nancy. We must look at things through God’s eyes instead of our own. Thanks and God bless
You are absolutely right in that when things seem unfair, God can use it to teach us something. I have struggled with this, too, and God has revealed to me my selfish heart. Ugh. It’s so hard to look at sometimes, especially when you think you have conquered it, and then God says: “Nope, I am not done molding you in that area.” I guess, this side of heaven, God is continuing to work on our characters. I still have a long ways to go!
I have a long way to go too. But we are trying and learning together. A burden shared is a lighter one. Thanks for commenting Lisa and God bless.
Such an important Biblical truth. Thank you for teaching on this, Yvonne. We have all experienced things in life that truly are not fair. But God’s ways are higher than ours and He is interested in our Christlike character, more than our comfort and pride.
Amen Melissa. It is so very important to hold onto out Christlike character. Thanks for commenting. God bless
Yvonne, I’ve uttered those words, “It’s not fair.” I’m sure as a child and teen. Perhaps even as an adult. And truth is, life. is. not. fair. And “All is not fair in love.” If it was, Jesus wouldn’t have had to die a brutal death to take our place. So this is why I love your reflective question to consider what God is teaching us to have allowed it.
Great thoughts Karen. If life was fair Christ would not have hung on a cross for us. But yet we still think we are unfairly treated. Thanks for commenting and God bless.
I have to admit, I have not been happy with Covid and the difficulties it has caused our family. I have been quarantined for longer than I ever wanted to be. And then there is the fact that my mom almost lost her life to it and my husband is not sick with Covid. But you are right, Yvonne, to ask, “Is God using this time so that we can appreciate what we have in life?” He surely is.
I was just thinking about how much time I have had with the Lord in these last few months due to the fact I’m stuck at home more than usual. And then there are the many prayers that I have been praying for my mom and my husband. Intimacy with God has been the fruit of these troubles. And this is a blessing! 🙂
Intimacy with God is such a beautiful blessing and one we can often overlook. But I know what you mean. I am praying that God protects you from any more issues with COVID and He continues to strengthen you. Thanks and God bless.