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My Cracks are Showing

Today’s Blog by Yvonne


I have a confession to make. I am a closet perfectionist. OK, maybe not even a closet one but a full-blown perfectionist. Couple that trait along with some tendencies to be a people pleaser as well. One of those characteristics alone can cause lots of stress but when you put them together, look out. I have tried to work on these flaws for many years now. I am getting better about them, but sometimes one or both of these will still show up in my life. My family is usually the ones that suffer the most when I let my perfectionism run wild. My family often forgives me for my imperfections, once I realize what I am doing and ask for their forgiveness. Perfection is not attainable. We deceive ourselves into thinking that if we just try harder, we will become perfect. In all of the world’s history, there has only been one perfect person, Jesus Christ.


My tendencies towards perfection show up any time I plan a mission trip. I make most of the travel arrangements for the trip. I enjoy searching for the best deals on flights and the best routes. I love to plan. Unfortunately, when I plan a trip, I begin to imagine all the details coming together. I form a picture in my mind of how everything will turn out during the trip. Unfortunately, things go wrong when traveling. Flights get delayed, people get sick, luggage gets lost and a million other things that can go wrong on a mission trip to destroy that perfect trip I had imagined.

I remember one trip in particular. It was one of the trips to Kenya. The team was about to purchase our tickets. It was about six weeks before our departure date when we received the news of a terrorist incident at a Kenyan airport. The next report told us all airlines had canceled their flights into Kenya. Mrs. Perfection went into overdrive trying to figure out what to do. The team gathered to pray about what God wanted us to do. I felt stressed, and my cracks were showing once again.


God quickly provided another option for us to do. Our help was needed to build a daycare center in Argentina. God provided for us. This new trip could happen during the same period, and the cost would be the same. God answered our prayers. In fact, more people decided to join the team for our new adventure. God had a better idea of this trip than my plans. It was a beautiful trip, and I am so grateful for the opportunities that God provided. God taught me a lot during the new journey. He showed me that His ways are perfect, but mine is not. Slowly, I am learning to rely on Him and not on my plans. God even provided a verse to remind me of my new lesson.


I try to recall this verse anytime I feel myself battling for control of a situation. I remind myself God knows a better way for everything in my life. I still have times where I slip back into old habits, but I am learning, and I continue to try. I trust God to continue to work on me. I am not perfect. The God I serve is the perfect one, and I can believe in Him to work out all the details.

Yvonne, author and blogger.

Matthew 28:19 “Therefore, GO and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

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